Judge Mary Scriven says courtesy and integrity matter most

In a conversation on the On Civility podcast, Judge Scriven says professionalism is a habit of character

U.S. District Judge Mary S. Scriven of the Middle District of Florida offered her perspective during a recent episode of On Civility, the podcast produced by The Florida Bar’s Henry Latimer Center for Professionalism.

Speaking with host Magie Ozarowski, Judge Scriven returned repeatedly to one central principle: lawyers should treat others the way they themselves would want to be treated.

The daughter of a nurse and a church minister, Judge Scriven graduated from Duke University and Florida State University College of Law before entering private practice. Civil litigation quickly became her focus because of its strategic and analytical demands. She described complex litigation as a natural fit for the way she thinks — logical, methodical, and intellectually rigorous.

Her eventual path to the judiciary, however, was shaped by formative experiences long before her federal appointment in 2008. While an undergraduate at Duke, she served on the university’s judicial council, adjudicating student disputes and disciplinary matters. That early exposure sparked an appreciation for fairness, decision-making, and the judicial process.

Asked what qualities define a good judge, Judge Scriven emphasized humility, patience, and empathy, because “people need to be heard.”

“Fifty percent of the people in court are likely not to like the outcome,” she observed. “But they should still walk away feeling they’ve been treated with integrity and given a voice.”

Judge Scriven’s definition of civility was notably straightforward.

“I’m a preacher’s daughter,” she said. “When I think of civility, I think biblically: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

In practice, civility extends beyond reasonable professional courtesies and communicating honestly, to refusing to exploit an opposing counsel’s inadvertent mistake, she said, sharing an example from her career.

Judge Scriven acknowledged that many lawyers perceive civility as worsening, but she disagrees. In her view, the profession likely contains roughly the same proportion of uncivil practitioners that it always has. What has changed is the sheer number of lawyers and the visibility of bad behavior.

“We tend to overemphasize the lawyers who are not civil,” she said.

However, she acknowledged that judges often see lawyers at their best — prepared, respectful, and polished in court — while opposing counsel may experience a very different tone in emails, phone calls, and discovery disputes.

“It’s okay to write a bad email,” she remarked. “It’s just not okay to send it.”

Judge Scriven firmly rejected the notion that civility somehow conflicts with zealous representation. In her view, advocacy is rooted in preparation, credibility, sound legal analysis, and strategic judgment — not hostility.

“A zealous advocate is one who is prepared, who understands the law, who understands the strengths and weaknesses of the client’s case,” she explained.

She also stressed the importance of counseling clients honestly about weaknesses in their cases, warning that lawyers who inflate clients’ expectations or encourage unnecessary combativeness often contribute to incivility themselves.

The main reason incivility happens is because of a lack of genuine personal relationships among lawyers, she says.

In her experience, lawyers who regularly practice together — particularly criminal practitioners — tend to be more civil because they know they will see one another again. Familiarity fosters trust, accountability, and mutual respect.

Which is why organizations such as the American Inns of Court play such an important role in promoting professionalism, she says. Judge Scriven, a longtime participant in the Chester Bedell Inn of Court in Tampa, described the Inns as invaluable opportunities for lawyers and judges to know each other as people rather than adversaries.

“You start to see them as a person,” she said, “more than just opposing counsel.”

Judge Scriven is now helping establish a statewide intellectual property Inn of Court to foster those same relationships among intellectual property practitioners whose cases are frequently high-stakes and emotionally charged.

Perhaps the most consistent theme throughout the conversation was humility.

Judge Scriven says lawyers should remember they are public servants, not simply businesspeople billing hours. She urged attorneys, especially young lawyers, to use their legal training in service to others, whether through pro bono work, nonprofit service, church leadership, or community involvement.

“If you use your entire career and your law license to make money,” she cautioned, “you’ll get to the end of your career and wonder what your true purpose is.”

Humility, she suggested, is inseparable from civility. Lawyers who believe they are smarter or more important than everyone else are far more likely to treat people poorly.

By contrast, lawyers who maintain perspective, serve others, and cultivate integrity are more likely to embody professionalism consistently — both inside and outside the courtroom.

Judge Scriven offered practical, personal, advice.

• Take a breath before reacting.

• Extend courtesy where possible.

• Be honest when mistakes occur.

• Treat support staff with respect.

• Remember that reputations endure.

Most importantly, she reminded lawyers that professionalism is not performative. It is not something activated only in front of judges or clients. It is a habit of character.

“As long as you maintain a sense of humility and purpose outside the practice,” Judge Scriven said, “it will keep you grounded.”

“Humility and Integrity are the Keys to Civility,” course 9833, has been approved by The Florida Bar Continuing Legal Education Department for 1 hour of General credit and 1 hour of Professionalism CLE credit.